Because I’m a Martyr (get it?)

You were always a better fan than lover. That’s harsh to say and possibly untrue. Probably unfair. But I can’t revise it. So I’ll havta let it stand.

Only problem is where I havta go to let it stand.

My feet slip in the mud and I bang my head on a brick and a torrent of water rushes the blood away.

Straining on tippy toe gulping water and balancing that pole balancing that pole balance that pole.

bad news

For a brief instance I almost convinced myself I had reason to live. But even during that flare up I didn’t really, I wanted to. I did. I did. I dreamed. I hoped. I prayed. I am only reminded again that I don’t haven’t and won’t.