When meditating it is important to keep your feet on the floor

Miniature sharks with rusty sheet metal teeth tear tendons from your toe joints, puffs of blood dissipate into the air as fragments of bone sink into the carpet.
You attempt to escape though an infinite field of sea urchins. Each defeated step crushing screams. Chunks of your flesh dangle rotting from acidic barbs. You struggle for your last breath as the men of war approach.

but that’s just illusion

the truth is your foot is broken. That throbbing is all the blood rushing out through the flap of meat you ripped apart on the metal leg. Remember you are meditating, in a pool of your own blood. That warm frigid filling is your foot bleeding you to death. But don’t let that bother you

the more important thing to pay attention to right now is how you didn’t notice when you were thrown into rot. A mountain of sickly sweet ketchup coagulates over the cast off carpet half buried in a greasy loam of plastic chips, metal filings, broken glass, and cat litter. This is the stench of territory. Tribes of feral skeletons glare at you from behind infinite overflowing dumpsters. As a treat the mothers bring their kittens to lap at the dripping blood from garbage bags. Here in a community dump in the middle of a trailer park in the unbreathable heat of the hottest summer in history and there are human vultures, a family, digging through the stench and the rot and the despair

but that’s just illusion

the more important thing to keep in mind is that a million years from now, when it is uncovered by some great upheaval, an ally will discover your decrypted broken and diseased toe, and will raise it as a monument to agony.

Stay still

Any moment now that old guy at the other end of the counter could run up, slam down his coffee mug, and shout “you don’t know it yet” … and he’d be right.

The sage can, at a glance at range, disentangle and decipher all those mad quirks that make you so special. With a wink he can bare them to the world.

He generally doesn’t bother.

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This entry is part 12 of 12 in the series Undrafted, February 2015

i put down the notebook
and pickup the laptop
i want to go to sleep
but there are no words

They know

You’re not so good at hiding it any more. You’re barely keeping it together, and they are on to you. It won’t be long before they drag it out of you, your defining moment, the fulcrum on which your life revolves. You last hope of solace is hinged on the empty hope that it really wasn’t so bad. It stings when you remember the time an ally laid fallen begging for mercy and you looked the other way. What does the audience look like for that event? From what I can see from here, through the lights, in the shadowy balcony, it looks like Selfishness, seated next to, possibly, no it’s beyond me.

Sad face!

I came back inside and prepared to meditate. I was just about ready to begin when I noticed a near by light. I leap up in the name of all that is good and holy and I rush over to turn it off. I stub the hell out if the ball somehow of my foot. Blood bleeding pain. And a failed attempt to fix it.

Ally! I am going to try again!

(is that a pool of blood?)
(probably not but that’s excruciating pain)
(just kinda throbbing in a disconnected void where one imagines a toe. But in this dimension the dominant aspect of toe is pain)
(If I write hard enough the pain goes away, but when I pause it’s straight back to the third aspect of Toe in the world system currently known as Dislocated Broken Pain. A million years ago)